the "self"-less void

ever-changing beings in never-changing relationship

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 00:00:00 +0000

ever-changing beings in never-changing relationship

2022-09-30

Just like the earth, the light, the sea ... we are all of one, we are all of god. In never-changing relationship - integrated, of a whole. Inseparable as there is nothing from which to be separated. No reason to cling, yearn, or fight.

Only trouble is, we forget.

Just like the earth, the light, the sea ... we are ever-changing beings. In body, in thought, in emotion, in spirit. The way we are now is not the way we ever have been before or ever will be again.
So, take heart that there's always a next, take strength from experience past, and take care that you don't miss the now.

May you remember more often than you forget.

(this reflection was inspired by Nothing Personal by James Baldwin)

how shall i live?

Fri, 29 Apr 2022 00:00:00 +0000

how shall i live?

2022-04-29

How shall I live?

When you know what you are - what we are, what all are - this isn't even a question.
It is plain.
And it is done.

When you think you know what you are - (a you made of thoughts) - this is one of the great ponderables.
The answers are as convoluted as the thinking required to get there, the thinking required to create that self.
And the doing is effortful and inconsistent.

If I made a list of the hows we all could probably agree on,
it would be to-dos for the thinkers,
it would be a description of the knowers.

The fun part is, we are all both knowers and thinkers, changing state in the blink of an eye.
Insight by insight, though, the balance shifts toward knowing.

a new way of seeing free will

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 00:00:00 +0000

a new way of seeing free will

2022-04-18

So ... Maybe free will isn't the freedom and ability to make our own choices.
Perhaps instead it is being free to divine will.

What I mean is,
when we are fully (and only) aware as what we really are ...
when we are no longer at the mercy of our thinking ...
(it holds no sway, the thoughts simply pass right on through)
then we are free to function as designed, congruent with our natural instinct ...
in accordance with divine will.

How liberating!

(How often have we looked at our pets or other animals and wished we had such a carefree life, simply doing whatever it is we naturally do without concern, without artifice? Oh, but for our thinking, we too could be so free!)

To have freedom of our natural will.
Free to will.

mortified

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 00:00:00 +0000

mortified

2022-02-01

Have you ever been mortified?

You know, that feeling of horror and embarrassment when you realize you have done something cringe-worthy - maybe it was a behavior that turned out to be hurtful to another or ... maybe it was that you'd made a spectacle of yourself or ... (well, I'll not put you on the spot, but, you know).

Let's take a look at what happened ...

In the moment - we'll call it that moment - what were you doing?
You were behaving in exactly the way that made perfect sense to you at that time.
You didn't think about it. (Or, maybe you did because you had literally been thinking oh-so-very-much and were wrapped up in your thoughts, failing to see anything more outside the confines of that swirl of thinking.)
You didn't think. You just did.

Based on everything you knew, the total sum of your experience, and the way the world looked to you at that time - the complete context of that moment - you did what you were compelled to do.
It was the only thing you could have done.
And you had no say over it. You acted perfectly.

So, what's the problem?

There is no problem.
The only difference between that moment and the moment you became mortified by your actions in that moment is that the world looks different to you.
You have another perspective - a perspective which was not available to you in that moment.
OMG!

How could you not have seen it at that time?
Well, you simply couldn't have and so didn't.
Now, you do.

(It's like one of those optical illusion puzzles - Don't see it. Can't see it. Can't see it ... Ohp! Now I see it!)

In the future, you may see it differently yet again.
(In fact, in yet another light, you may not find it mortifying at all.)

And that's the way it works. For every one of us. All the time.
The things we say and do are driven by the way the world looks to us in the moment.
We only do what makes sense to us.

When we see things differently, we behave differently.
And, just like that moment of mortification, those fresh insights and new perspectives come in the blink of an eye.

We have no control over when and how they (the insights/perspectives) appear. But, they always do.

And, our whole world changes in an instant.

when we remember

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 00:00:00 +0000

when we remember

2022-01-25

Everyone just wants the same thing. To know that they're okay.

When we don't know that we already are okay - that we are complete, that we are secure - we seek.
Our behavior is a reflection of that search; it is that search.

Everything we do is driven by our desire to be okay.

Except ... when we know that we already and always are okay, when we remember who/what we really are and how it all works, what we do instead is a pure expression of the life and love that we are.

pure life

Fri, 28 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

pure life

2021-05-28

Here we are, at play. Teasing. Laughing. Unrestrained. We are all-in.

Later, a photo arrives. Narratives are created.
One says, "Oh my god! I had no idea just how beautiful that moment was! I'm so glad I didn't or I would have ruined it with self consciousness ..."
Another, "Ugh. I can't believe that's me. I don't look at all like I think I should. I need to get on that ..."
Still another, "This is terrible. The lighting and composition are all wrong. How could I not have seen it ..."

First we have life being lived ...
Pure life.
No need to look into each other's eyes in an attempt to glimpse our true self; it's right there in the open for all to plainly witness. No narration required.

Then we have the afterthoughts.

The photo is not the moment.
The narratives are not the moment.
The only thing unarguably real is that time of pure, self-less life being lived. The moment.

And that's how it goes. Moments of pure life. Moments of believing our narratives about life.
The trick is simply remembering that this happens.

names

Fri, 14 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

names

2021-05-14

Names are important.

Remembering others' names.
Pronouncing them correctly.
Spelling them right.

Doing so is a sign of respect. Honoring the other's wishes and recognizing their individuality.

Not doing so - whether by ignorance, carelessness, wanton disregard, or outright hostility - can sting.
It feels as if the other is, in failing to get our name right, telling us:

I don't care enough to bother.
You aren't worth my consideration.
I want you to know that I don't care about you.
In fact, I want you to know that I outright loathe you.

I know you don't like it, but I'm going to call you by this not_your_name anyways.

I'd like to question this assumption of importance, take a new way of looking at names.

Let's see what's happening here ...

When we come into human form we are realizing a gift - the ability to experience our self and the love that we are.
The way it works is that we appear separate - from each other, from all of the things around us, from god.
We develop concepts upon which we can generally agree in order to share our human experience.
In the process, we name things.
As we separate them out from their surroundings and contexts, we give them unique identifiers - enabling us to communicate and differentiate one thing from another in a short-hand fashion, and to do so without requiring a mutual experience of that thing (as if naming the thing is equivalent to experiencing the thing).

So, we give our selves (or each other) names.
It seems necessary (or at least handy) given that we are in a state in which we more-often-than-not perceive our self as separate, individual.
Imagine what it would be like if we all had the same name - functionally, it'd be like having no name at all - Hey You! No, not You; the other You.

Trouble is, we forget.
We forget that we are merely in a state (human) in which we are perceiving our selves as separate.
We forget that we are of one. That we are god.
We forget that names are a tool of convenience we use to facilitate our human experience.

By their very nature, names drive the illusion of separation. That is, they make it seem real. And, we believe it.

So, names become important.
We use them to differentiate our self, striving for uniqueness.
We assign meaning and significance to them.
We use them to signal relationship and status.

And we fail to see that we are inventing this importance.

Along the way, we begin to identify our own selves with our names, not just each other.
Our names become vital to us - signifying to our own selves our relationship and status.
Consequently, when others screw up our names, we take affront.

Why do others bollix our names?
One reason is simply conditioned behavior.
We speed past introductions to get to whatever it is we think is the heart of the immediate matter. That is, whatever is "really" important and why I'm even talking to you in the first place.
And, so, out of inattention, we end up bungling each others' names.

Of course, this conditioned behavior (this collective habit) is rooted in one of our prime movers as seemingly separate humans - the need to know that we're okay.
One of the more common ways to feel okay (stay safe) is to adhere to cultural norms - collective habits. If we're following The Rules (rules we've made up and that exist only in thought, by the way), then we're probably okay. Whew!

This need to think we're okay - to protect and defend our self image - also extends to the more seemingly-sinister ways in which we don't just bungle but deliberately mung up others' names.

We separate our self out by deciding that you are not worth consideration.
We separate our self out by telling you this directly.
We separate our self out by displaying our outright contempt for you.

Not only are the walls up, but they are pointy and sharp, and explosive to boot.

And, again, all of this is because we forget.
We forget that our name is a thought-created concept and not our actual self.
We forget that our seemingly-separate self is not what we really are either.
We forget that we are already and always okay - it's built into the design.
We forget that we are of one. That we are god.

Names are important, but not only for the reasons we think they are.
Names are important because they help facilitate the gift of our human experience.
Trouble is, we forget.

suffering

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 00:00:00 +0000

suffering

2021-04-30

Suffering is resistance to what is.
Alternatively:
Suffering is clinging to what is not.

So, what is not?
A thought about a thing is not the thing.

Clinging to our thoughts, mistaken for the thing, we suffer.

When we recognize what is - that is, the essence of the thing - we are at ease.

Simply remembering that this is how it works, our grip loosens.

one of the great tragedies of being human

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0000

one of the great tragedies of being human

2021-03-03

It's easy to meet a stranger as they are. We've put no burden upon them ... our perception of them isn't carrying our needs. Our perception has not yet become mistaken for the other.

It's hard for us to do the same as a loved/loving one. We've developed a whole set of images (limitations, imposed needs, responsibilities ... burdens) and reinforced them over time.
Our perception has become mistaken for the other. We've forgotten along the way who/what we really are and how it all works.

And when things change (development, divorce, dementia, death), as they always must, these already-freighted, "self"-based perceptions struggle under the load.
We struggle.
We struggle to maintain the images that seem to represent safety or stability.
We struggle with the prospect of as-yet-unfulfilled needs closing out early, leaving us forever unfulfilled.

It's one of the great tragedies of being human.
We are conditioned early on to see others in terms of our needs - either fulfilling our perceived needs or needing the other to be different (in order to have our perceived needs fulfilled).

This hurts us in several ways:

It reinforces neediness - we become a bundle of needs; needs we might not otherwise have except that someone told us that we should.
It reinforces separation - we forget that there are no others and lose sight of our single true self buried in layers of invented need.

The unfortunate result is that we miss out on the joy of recognizing each other (and the rest of the universe) as we really are - unvarnished - free to enjoy our human frailties and fripperies as they're meant to be, as mechanisms for experiencing that which we otherwise could not.

The fortunate thing is that this gift is still - and always - available to us. As we remember this, it becomes more and more apparent.

What would they be without that cloak of needs?
What would we?

mistaken

Sat, 23 Jan 2021 00:00:00 +0000

mistaken

2021-01-23

Look out there ... What do you see?
[a list of objects]
Describe it to me?
[a list of adjectives and objects]
What is it like?
[a list of adjectives and objects and metaphors]

With each layer, the view becomes more and more personal.
Simple concepts upon which we can agree (objects), become subjective.
Though we're standing in the same spot, looking out the same window, in the same direction, soon, we aren't seeing the same thing at all.

And that's how it goes.

We lose sight as things become cloaked in meaning.
We then forget that we've cloaked the things in meaning - the meaning becomes the thing.
And we are so very sure of it; we stake our selves on it.
And we are so very wrong - mistaken.

There is nothing we can do about this. It's the way we work.
The trick is in remembering that this happens.