mortified
2022-02-01
Have you ever been mortified?
You know, that feeling of horror and embarrassment when you realize you have done something cringe-worthy - maybe it was a behavior that turned out to be hurtful to another or ... maybe it was that you'd made a spectacle of yourself or ... (well, I'll not put you on the spot, but, you know).
Let's take a look at what happened ...
In the moment - we'll call it that moment - what were you doing?
You were behaving in exactly the way that made perfect sense to you at that time.
You didn't think about it. (Or, maybe you did because you had literally been thinking oh-so-very-much and were wrapped up in your thoughts, failing to see anything more outside the confines of that swirl of thinking.)
You didn't think. You just did.
Based on everything you knew, the total sum of your experience, and the way the world looked to you at that time - the complete context of that moment - you did what you were compelled to do.
It was the only thing you could have done.
And you had no say over it. You acted perfectly.
So, what's the problem?
There is no problem.
The only difference between that moment and the moment you became mortified by your actions in that moment is that the world looks different to you.
You have another perspective - a perspective which was not available to you in that moment.
OMG!
How could you not have seen it at that time?
Well, you simply couldn't have and so didn't.
Now, you do.
(It's like one of those optical illusion puzzles - Don't see it. Can't see it. Can't see it ... Ohp! Now I see it!)
In the future, you may see it differently yet again.
(In fact, in yet another light, you may not find it mortifying at all.)
And that's the way it works. For every one of us. All the time.
The things we say and do are driven by the way the world looks to us in the moment.
We only do what makes sense to us.
When we see things differently, we behave differently.
And, just like that moment of mortification, those fresh insights and new perspectives come in the blink of an eye.
We have no control over when and how they (the insights/perspectives) appear. But, they always do.
And, our whole world changes in an instant.